WARNING! 14 phrases to make a digital marketer die a little bit inside.

14 phrases to make a digital marketer die a little bit inside.

Trust me,over a decade as a Digital Marketer, I know!

These are things that those of you working in digital marketing and social media will know only too well.

1. Low battery mode

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When your whole world is online, your phone becomes your number one business tool. Low battery and no charger is a disaster.

2. ‘Yeah, but, as an expert, I would suggest…[insert complete nonsense]’

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*sigh* one more expert talking actual crap.

3. ‘Yeah, but I read on Google…’

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Yeah, because you should believe everything you read on the internet.

4. Google announces changes its search algorithm

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Again.

5. ‘I want to be on Twitter. Don’t worry about the other stuff.’

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All riiiiight.

6. Facebook announces changes its news feed algorithm

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Organic reach just got even harder.

7. ‘I want to go viral’

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FYI, there is no publish setting for viral.

8. ‘It must be nice getting to play on Twitter all day’

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Yup, just like your job is play.

9. ‘[New must-have app name] is the new must have app’

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Another platform to get to grips with.

10. ‘We can get round to the plan later’

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Say what now? There was me thinking that strategy and planning came before action to ensure your work is a success.

11. ‘I need to be on every type of social media’

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Hmmm...why? Different people use different platforms so be targeted.

12. ‘Who are you targeting? Everyone.’

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Who needs specific goals to work towards, huh?

13. ‘I bought 5,000 twitter followers for $23’

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You can tell, you know.

14. GPRS

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No words.

Have we missed any of the obvious ones? Get in touch or tweet me @anthonyjohns0n to let me know your thoughts!

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